Here it is folks. The first episode of the Freeland Story Hour. We submitted to iTunes tonight so you should be able to subscribe through iOS devices by the middle of the week or so. Enjoy.
In which Freeland regales us with stories about a man in black chasing a car with a knife, an exorbitant library fine, and a homeless woman by a police car.
Freeland Story Hour Artwork by Devin Symons
Episode 140 has just been cutting onions…that’s all.
In which the guys say goodbye with the help of a few of the guests the Chuckwagon has seen over its tenure.
Episode 139 is the amalgamation of masochism and a terrible television show.
In which John and Seth discuss the specialest of ops and how incompetent Seagal really is while finishing the worst series in television history, True Justice.
Episode 138 is about to start something.
In which Seth and Freeland lay out the future and embark on a new journey.
Episode 137 puts the she in she crab soup.
In which the guys are terrible at making a schedule and give you several unheard segments from the cutting room floor. Bits include Freeland’s book mania, how toxic Halloween costumes are, sad lunches, Freeland trying to open a can of she crab soup, Freeland as a thief, the market price of a blowjob, eating expired foods, and Freeland dropping mouse traps down his pants.
Episode 136 flips its steaks too early.
In which the guys, plus Derek Tokaz, discuss revenge against Pep Boys, when to pull your pants up in public restroom, father lectures, the age of consent Google map, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, Cat Stevens, Ricky Jay, Zulu, rugby culture, death by atomic wedgie, Sherlock Holmes pun pitches, and that time Freeland electrocuted himself.
Episode 135 feels your pain…all of it.
In which Freeland sets about finding a personal center by photographing snow owls, Seth pitches a Chuckwagon Revival card game, and John attends another terrible wedding. The guys discuss Arrow, Anchorman 2, American Hustle, and the Wolf of Wall Street. Seth shares what traumas people have brought to their penises, John pitches a classic 80s flick with an unconventional cast, and Freeland lets us guess what his resolutions are for this year.
Episode 134 is in the woods…waiting.
In which the guys discuss their Christmases which included tears, wine, knives, lectures, and anthropomorphic dog and cat detectives. Freeland watches a bunch of movies and John tells of an unfortunate trip to Sea World from his youth. The gang answers a few questions from Yahoo Answers and then pitches a new TV show about a lady in love with a ferris wheel.
Episode 133 is working on its business plan.
In which Freeland returns and there is much rejoicing. The gang provides some needed business advice to Freeland who is looking to start his own company. Seth sees a baby get changed in a Fuddruckers booth. John pitches a television show about a time traveling microwave.
Episode 132 is a brick layer’s convention.
In which John and Seth discuss the differences between a pile of bricks and a brick wall. Meanwhile, Seagal murders more people and brings down the Yakuza in a very roundabout way, like decapitation.
Episode 131 can see the light at the end of the tunnel.
In which John and Seth have issues that require tissues. Seagal deals with the Yakuza and a guy who had his house foreclosed on. He also giggles like the Pillsbury Dough Boy and isn’t sure what an orifice is.
That is Steven Seagal in a big freaking beard. Bask in it. It’s okay. It’s amazing.
Episode 130 always blows in another man’s candle.
In which John and Seth grow big ass beards for the fun of it. Seagal deals with the very serious topic of PTSD with the subtlety of a hot dog colored man with sausages for fingers. This episode ends with the single best piece of audio that has ever been recorded; from God’s pen to your ears.
Episode 130 can’t talk about another man’s faith.
In which John and Seth get a bunch of sharpie tattoos that won’t come off. Seagal battles the Aryan nation in an abandoned high school while one of his team smokes some meth. He’s also concerned about a bomb waking up a neighborhood, so you know his priorities are set correctly.
My friend, and all around awesome dude, Aaron Krutsinger, is working on a game that’s got itself a Kickstarter. If you like branching storylines, a very cool and unique art style, or supporting indie developers then check out the Kickstarter and throw them some cash. Even if it’s only a buck, it will mean the world to them.